This post was from a Facebook post on Friday, May 13, 2022.
Today is Friday the 13th! Traditionally this date is one that whispers of fear and terror. Many horror films have capitalized on the superstitions people have on this date.
We are not here to recommend or suggest a horror movie for you to watch, rather we want to suggest that fear and terror are very real feelings that exist in the lives of foster children. Here are a few questions these children really struggle with:
- Will I see my mommy or daddy again?
- Will I be safe?
- Will my life ever be normal again?
- What will I eat?
- Where will I go to school?
- What happened to all of my friends?
- Will I get to keep my things?
Questions like these and the unknown answers cause great fear for many children in foster care. Their responses to these questions are not always the best either. Many act out, sometimes in violent ways. Some run away (literally sometimes). Others may cause self-harm.
Trauma that children experience also produce these feeling of fear. Research shows that infants and toddlers have feelings of fear even though they have no memory of neglect or abuse. Yet the fear of hunger, danger, or loneliness are often present. It’s no surprise when older children and teenagers also have these same fears knowing full well what they have experienced.
Foster children who struggle with fear need loving placements to heal. There are some great resources out there for how to help children work through their feelings and memories. One that we would suggest is Dr. Karyn Purvis. Dr. Purvis has written books and developed curriculum to help parents work with their children to overcome some of these issues. Her book “The Connected Child” is widely used by foster care agencies. Below is a link to her video “Impact of Fear.”
If you are working with a children that is struggling with fear, please find help. Contact us so we can suggest some resources or point you to someone who can help.